Relena's Secret
by Ranma-Chan
Summary: Basically what it says. Slightly angsty. Warning:Slight Yuri A.K.A. girlXgirl love WarningII:Relena lovers, beware, it's not too kind to her


Note: There isn't really a servant girl named Michelle in the series; I just made her up to increase the dramatic tension.  
  
It was night. Relena sat in her bed, alone like always. Her nightmares were getting to be too much. She had decided a little while after they started that they were coming from her longing to tell her one true love how she felt. It had been two years since the war had ended, and she still regretted passing up on the opportunity to actually speak about the feelings that had been balled up inside her for way too long.  
  
Many people had believed that she had been in love with Heero, in fact, some still do. But that wasn't the person that she longed to see. No. Not Heero, Noin. Yes, Noin. The only person that she had ever truly loved.   
  
Relena got up and walked over to her enormous window in her room. She looked through the glass and looked down to the lake that sparkled from the light of the moon. As she looked, she thought of her dream. It was the same as always. Noin was always there, dying. She was dying because Relena didn't tell her how she felt. Relena always wants to tell her, but it never seems to come out right.  
  
It's always then that she wakes up. Sitting up suddenly, her blankets soaked in her sweat. //This has got to stop// She thought. //I can't keep going on like this//  
  
But it never did stop. No matter how much she tried. She didn't want to admit it, but she knew that the only way to stop it would be for her to tell Noin.   
  
Like always, Relena did end up falling back to sleep, huddled in a chair near her window. She never had two nightmares in one night so she could go to sleep without fear.  
  
She was awakened by the sound of Michelle, her personal servant and friend, pounding at the door. "Just a moment, Michelle."   
  
When she opened the door, she saw the immediate look of concern on her dear friend's face. "More nightmares?" "It's alright, they're not as bad as they used to be." Michelle was the only other soul who knew of her feelings for Noin.  
  
"I wish that you would tell her, then the nightmares would go away."   
  
"You know that it's not as simple as that." Relena said.  
  
"If you don't, who knows what will happen to you."  
  
Relena didn't like to see her friend so worried so she said, "I'm very hungry, I'm going down to the kitchen to get something to eat."  
  
This happened so often that Relena was beginning to feel as if she were putting on a play.  
  
Relena never made it to the kitchen; she always wandered the halls for an hour or so. She never felt like eating breakfast since she never felt much like eating after a nightmare and she had them every night.   
  
As she wandered the long halls of her house, she thought of that one moment in her life that kept haunting her in her thoughts and in her dreams.  
  
**About Two Years Ago**  
  
"We have to get you out of here!" Relena heard an anonymous voice cry over the intercom of her battered Libra that Duo had stolen for her. "You're the only one that matters now!"  
  
She knew that that message was for her. The war was almost over, but there were still some skirmishes here and there around the world and Relena had gotten caught in one of them. Since the war was almost over, she was the only vital part of what was left of a plan, and she knew it.   
  
"I know that I do, but I can't just leave all of you behind like this!" Relena cried, thinking specifically of Noin. "Don't worry about us, we were practically breed for this sort of thing, besides, there's almost no need for us anymore." She recognized the voice as belonging to Duo. "You're the only thing that matters now. GO!"  
  
Relena knew that she couldn't protest about it anymore. She shouldn't have even been there in the first place.   
  
"Alright, but meet me about two miles from here in the woods to the North." Relena said, thinking quickly. "Will do, Relena." Noin said. Relena sighed at that. That was one reason why she liked her. She knew what to say to ease tension, and although it wasn't a great speech, it still relieved her of most of her worried thoughts that she was thinking.  
  
**Present**  
  
Relena awoke from her daydream to find herself near the servant's quarters. Something inside her kept her moving towards Michelle's room.  
  
When she reached Michelle's door, she knocked on it and waited for a familiar voice to call, "Come in!" She opened the door and there she found her friend sitting on her bed stitching a torn apron.   
  
"Miss Relena, what is it?" Relena could see the look of concern on her friends face, as always.  
  
"Michelle, I think that I'm going to tell her how I feel." Relena said, grimly.   
  
"Do you want me to come?" Michelle said. "I would prefer it if you did."  
  
"Now?" Relena only nodded. "I'll get my things."  
  
**Ten minutes later**  
  
Relena was waiting for Michelle in her car, anxiously. Michelle stepped out of Relena's house and quickly walked to the car.  
  
"Are you ready to do this?" "I don't think I ever will be." Relena replied, looking out the window. That was obviously good enough for Michelle, since she turned on the car and started to drive down the nearly endless stretch of driveway.   
  
**An hour and 25 minutes later**  
  
"Are you sure this is where she is?" "Yes, Duo told me where to find her if I ever wanted to see her again." Relena said. "Do you want me to come?" Michelle asked. "No, that's alright."  
  
Relena got out of the car and started walking up a hill towards a tree on top.   
  
At the top of the hill, Relena stopped at a lone grave. She kneeled down in front of it and read the name engraved into it.  
  
"...Lucrezia Noin..."  
  
**About two years ago**  
  
Relena sat near a tree on top of a hill just North of the battle taking place. The battle was nearly over and Relena was very worried.  
  
//What if someone got hurt?// Relena thought. //What if Noin got hurt?//  
  
She was about to find out. The battle was over and it looked as though they had won.   
  
The mobile suits where making their way over to her very quickly. They stopped about one hundred feet away from her at the bottom of the hill.  
  
Relena looked in horror as Noin was pulled out of her Libra with blood coming from her chest.  
  
"Noin!" Was all the Relena could manage.  
  
The Gundam pilots quickly carried Noin up the hill towards Relena who was now kneeling in the grass.  
  
They laid Noin down onto Relena's lap and Relena looked down at her.  
  
"It's...not as bad as it looks..." Noin managed.   
  
"Please don't die." Relena said through tears.  
  
"I don't think that there's any way out of it." She focused on Relena. "Please don't cry for me."   
  
"I can't help it."  
  
Wufei spoke up then. "Do you want us to do anything?"   
  
"Yes. If it's not too much trouble, could you bury me somewhere that's not a military graveyard. That's sounds too depressing." She said.  
  
"We'll do that." Duo said.  
  
"Relena, please, bring peace to the world. You're the only one who can."  
  
"I will, for you."  
  
**Present**  
  
"I still remember the last time I spoke to you." Relena said. "It was on this hill. Two years ago."  
  
"I couldn't tell you this then, and I've regretted it everyday since then...What I wanted to tell you that...I love you." Relena said. "I always have, and I always will."  
  
"I wish that I could know that you can hear me right now, but it's too late for that." As she said that, a breeze blew, rustling the leaves on the tree, and suddenly, she knew that Noin had heard her.  
  
"Thank you." Relena said.  
  
As Relena walked down the hill towards her car, she looked back to the tree on top of the hill and she remembered that day two years ago.   
  
She got into the car, feeling as if she would never find happiness again.  
  
Author's notes: Ok, this is my first attempt at writing fanfics so don't send any flamers saying that I got something wrong...Personally, I think I did a good job...Anyway...Anou...*Cough* Oh yeah, disclaimers!  
  
Disclaimers: As most of you had already guessed, the GW people don't belong to me...they belong to their respected makers, (creators, whatever floats your boat...) the all powerful GW people! Anyway, don't sue me or anything, I gave credit where it was deserved! Even if you did sue me, all you'd really get are a bunch of manga and videos so really there's no point...Well, you can't anyway since I did give the people credit and everything...::anonymous audience member runs up and hits her on the head:: Ok! I know that I'm just babbling, you could have just said something! Anou...e-mail me with questions or comments! ::gives peace sign:: And no flamers!  
Thank you.   



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